choices

Dear Friend

Art found at thetwilightsaga.com

Definitely time for something lighter here on The Porch!

But a heads-up: This post would probably bore anyone who is not into the strangeness of literature or the Twilight phenomenon.

As you might or might not know, I have found myself a surprised fan of the Twilight series ever since the film came out last year and I bought and read ALL the books, and then got the DVD of the film, and also the soundtrack from a friend. It’s not that I think the books are that superbly written, but somehow they remain stuck in my mind.

It is probably because I have always been intrigued by the byronic quality of some vampires in literature, nowhere better exemplified than in Edward Cullen. (Of course, if you look at the qualities of the byronic hero posted at that there link, you’d be excused for wondering if he might be a sociopath, too. But that’s the beauty of it, innit? The belief that deep down he is good, contrary to appearances. I don’t think womenfolk fall for men who seem dangerous, rather for men who seem good, but that’s a whole different topic for another time.)

What caught me so much by surprise in the whole series ~ and don’t read any further if you still have to read the other books ~ is that usually, in a love triangle, I have a definite preference for the one or the other. This is the first instance in literature I have ever come across where my loyalty is divided right down the middle. Edward or Jacob?

Edward is exotic, no doubt, and after the first book, I was convinced that Jacob could never replace him. But then I read New Moon, the second book, and didn’t I just get a little miffed with Edward, and a little more open towards Jacob! I even sympathised with Bella who couldn’t make up her mind, silly flit of a girl.

This tension simply keeps expanding until the triangle is resolved … and then, still, there is that little bit of wondering left inside the mind: did she choose right?

Strange and completely new to me.

I dare say the New Moon film is going to be an eye-full, especially with Taylor Lautner all beefed up for the much more central role of Jacob Black.

In real life we can never second-guess our choices. Oh, we do! In utter futility. But right at the bottom of it all, we have to choose one way or the other, and then ~ 99% of the time ~ we have to run with those choices. Mistake, fortune, fate, cause & consequence … we live with what we have here & now.

And here & now, we make the best of it.

Purely. Powerfully. Beautifully.

love,

Pippa

Choices are the hinges of destiny. ~ Attributed to both Edwin Markham and Pythagoras

like alice

Dear Friend

Art by Jacinta Cillis-Asquith, found at Art.com

*

Well, it’s official. My dad has colon cancer which has spread to his liver.

Slap that little nugget of news on top of my mom’s brain cancer & you have an idea of how surreal my life feels right now. (& their’s too, I know.)

I feel a little like Alice being sucked down the rabbit hole into the absurd fever-dream world of Wonderland. & like Alice, I eat & drink everything I lay my hands on, hoping it will make me smaller so fate may not notice me, or larger so I may handle this journey with courage.

Thing is, this is what The Author wills for us.

& that leaves me with only one option, really:

*

To live this story in the most beautiful way I can.

*

love,

Pippa

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop. ~ Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland

Well, that just says it all, doesn’t it? We all have a beginning & an end. But spiritually we don’t stop – only these earth suits we wear have expiry dates.

true

i like the idea, i do, because i think it is so true.

thank you

oh yeah!

clean page

dear friend

new

well, i’ve thought a lot about the porch.

tried to cut it out of my life, but i couldn’t …

… so, here i am, on a clean page, unable to let it go, running back into its embrace.

i miss it too much.

i miss you too much, friend.

i simply need the porch. i need its creativity, its outlet, its discipline, its inspiration, its connection to the outside world, its friendship with you, dear friend.

it’s just the way it is.

to me, it is very real.

*

thing is, there is not much i can say about my journey that feels positive right now. or so i thought. if you’ve stopped by here before, you know that my mom was diagnosed a month ago with inoperable brain cancer. yesterday my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer.

can you believe that?

even a soap opera does not have that much drama!

how do you share such challenges here on the porch, out in the world wide web? & if you choose not to share them, what else do you say when there is a wildness in your eye?

sometimes i get a little shy. sometimes i fall into darkness. sometimes i just want to hide my nose a bit.

but in true pippa style, of course i go *all* out.

all or nothing!

now i learn that all or nothing doesn’t work well in this life.

*

so, let’s see if we’ve learned a little along this journey, tempering the ‘all or nothing’ approach with some acceptance & some tenderness.

that sounds like a good step forward.

there is so much that *is* positive & hopeful & beautiful.

i want to be open to it.

i want to share it.

no matter what.

*

& so, here i am back again.

doing things a little more freely this time, forcing fewer restrictions on myself, worrying less about appearance & syntax & posting regularity.

simply living.

being fully & beautifully pippa.

thanks for staying here, beautiful porch, thanks for welcoming me back.

thank you to everyone of you, friends, who asked me return to this haven.

you touch me & strengthen me.

love always,

pippa

the best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve had. ~ author unknown