Well, I did it!

I FINISHED something I started.

I am SO grateful and SO pleased.

There is nothing quite like the sense of wonder and accomplishment which comes from setting out to achieve something, pushing through with it, and finally completing it. Taking that last step through the finish line ribbon.

(Is it any wonder “Run, Fatboy, Run” is one of my all-time favourite films? I can completely associate with our hero Dennis Doyle, who starts out as a loser and ends the race as a winner. Even though he crossed that line stone last of all the participants, his little son’s reaction, “Daddy, you WON!” says it all for me.)

For you, finishing what you start might be a thing so ingrained that you take it for granted. Not so for me.

Someone once said they see me as the kind of person who never finishes what they start, and this hurtful comment stuck in me, not because it was so unbelievably cruel but because it was so unbelievably true. I am working on changing this, not for whomever observes my actions in this life, but for ME.

I want to believe in me.

I want to know that I am a finisher, a winner like Dennis Doyle, someone who makes a complete, full circle.

The Alphabet Play is only the end of one particular journey. And it brings much needed invigoration, birthing in me the desire to challenge myself on more such journeys, learning and growing through the discipline & commitment of Completing the Circle. It inspires me to complete the other journeys I started a while ago, the NEWO Challenge, and South Beach Steve’s Hot 100 Challenge (about which I will post more later).

I know for sure that seeing the Alphabet Play through contributes a lot to staying the course in these two other challenges.

Next week I will set myself a new creative challenge – one you are invited to participate in. Until then, while I’m planning, I want to take a little while to celebrate what I’ve accomplished, and to fall into the gratitudeness of this place I am in now, experiencing it fully and passionately. Celebrating the circle I have completed.

Thank you for hitching along for the ride here on The Porch while I posted through the alphabet. Thank you for all your comments and insights which made such a difference to me and in turn inspired me. I know it has been an intimately personal challenge and learning curve for me, but I am blessed for being able to share it with you. It might be a little thing measured against the grandness of life out there, but in here, right here on The Porch, it has been an experience of significance.

How lucky can one little girl get?

When I was still blossoming into adulthood, our local Cosmopolitan had a supplement from time to time called Zest.

The first one I encountered was the one which stayed with me. On its cover was the photo of a model in a setting which came to symbolize for me all the meanings contained in the word zest: alive, passionate, active, charming, spirited …

The fact that the word could also be used for the perfumed outer layer of citrus fruit just made sense to me 100%.

Though I no longer read Cosmo, I still have that cover – and yes, it is the one here, for your perusing pleasure. =)

It reminds me of what I aim for:

to be ALIVE,

energetic,

joyful,

adventurous,

sexy,

grateful,

inspiring,

beautiful.

To turn my life into an experience which awakens the senses and sparks the mind … like the luscious, lively smell of lemons.

Time for a Hot 100 Update!

40 days gone, just like that, and 60 yummy ones left!

After last week’s tough times I am back and ready to rock this world. First, progress – and you’re permitted to leave if this stuff is boring for you =)

I still have NO CLUE how much I currently weigh as the broken television (no Wii visible, and I don’t have a scale) means that I’m playing that delightful game of half-guessing, half-living-in-anticipation that what I’m doing is still good. I did consider buying a scale, but that is so contrary to my need for simplicity – and fewer possessions – that I’m rather biting the bullet today and getting out a technician to have a look at the telly.

What I do have access to, are measurements, and after a strange week of little exercise and not-really-present-yet-healthy-eating, here they are:

• Waist: 71cm – stable this week – total loss: 5cm
• Hips: 98cm – 1cm down this week – total loss: 4cm
• Bum: 103cm – 1cm down this week – total loss: 3cm
• Left thigh: 59cm – 1cm down this week – total loss: 4cm
• Right thigh: 60cm – 1cm down this week – total loss: 5cm
• Arms: 31cm – stable this week – total loss: 1cm

I’m surprised, really, and newly motivated by the good results, whoohoo!!

This is a chemo-free week for my dad, I recharged my batteries over the weekend, AND I’m taking today off to take care of some home stuff and bring some balance back into my life, so to say I am flying high again is no understatement at all. =)

GOALS FOR THE COMING WEEK:

• CREATE: Finish the very last letter of the Alphabet Play series. It’s long been written, just need to post it! And then start planning for the next series/challenge/FUN game!
• NOURISH: High raw (80-90%) diet, one small packet of crisps if the craving really insists.
• MOVE: 6 days out of the 7: 100 Callanetics triceps, 90 Callenetics abdominals, 100 Callanetics glutes, 30 frog squats, and 50 dumbbell lying rear deltoid rows a day. This last exercise targets a different part of the shoulder muscle, in the hope of helping my left shoulder: where it has been complaining for years now, this last while it’s been getting worse, most of the time the shoulder hurts and my arm feels as if I’ve touched a live wire, tingly and irritable. It’s definitely exacerbated by stress. A pinched nerve perhaps? A trapped emotion? We’ll see what the exercise does: it will either improve it or worsen it!

STUFF I’VE LEARNED THIS PAST WEEK:

• It’s OK to adapt plans and strategies when life gets rough. This life is not about perfect planning, perfect solutions, perfect performance. It’s a messy, noisy, challenging, beautiful thing, and it forever keeps you on your toes. There are no formulas! And trying to force your present circumstances into a formula when life is spilling over into you from unexpected directions, this is not the best way to live. The secret and the grace is to keep your focus and know that you will return to your course the soonest you can. I am often reminded of the similarity between working towards goals in life and sailing. Sailors know that you can’t take a straight line to your destination. There is only one way to get there, and that is by continuously tacking … never travelling in a straight line, always aiming a bit to the left, then to the right of your course, but ultimately landing in the harbour you were headed for. Making lifestyle change your goal is exactly the same.
• The stress in my life was exceptionally high last week, and because of the severe time and energy constraints, exercise was minimal. But I’m positive that, had I been able to fit some workouts into my day, my experience of the stress would have been a lot less. I am only able to notice this now after these weeks of regularly working out and being more in tune with my body, but I could distinctly feel the poison of the stress hormones building up in my body as the week progressed, with no physical outlet to balance them with the other brilliant chemical goodies in my blood. Food for thought: When the going gets tough, be clever, and get going early in the morning! So, knowing that next week is going to bring more of the same, my aim is to exercise early in the day this week and get the routine in place to help me cope next week.

Last, a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you, who have sent me light and prayer – to my family as well – and who have kept coming here to encourage me and pull me up again. No words can suffice for the deep, deep gratitude I feel for having you in my life. YOU ABSOLUTELY ROCK!

The Porch is a bit quiet this week, I know.

It is another chemo week for my dad, which means that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday consisted of driving around extra for hospital visits squeezed into the regular hectic schedule, checking in on my mom, and a general level of busyness which left me dragging.

In addition, I’m working through some heavy emotional stuff, and work at the office is mad. With everything the way it is, I have yet to arrive home at a normal time this week.

I wish I could say I’ve been handling it tough as Tarzan, but even Tarzan gets pooped. I simply couldn’t fit in exercise on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and if I say it’s because I had no time, that’s the honest truth, because I didn’t even have time to travel my usual routes on the internet. (Online time is always a good indicator of whether you REALLY have time or not, for me.) I’ve visited one or two blogs, and that’s it. My inbox is pathetically full.

Yesterday I exercised my shoulders, and that was it. I miss the workouts, my body aches, and I have been feeling so weak that even a handful of stairs seems like Mount Everest. I suspect it’s not only the high stress, but because I’ve been forgetting to eat. Now, normally under stress I turn into a chomping machine, comfort-eating to an embarrassing extent. But turn up the pressure a notch or two, and it switches. I forget to eat. I’ve been trying to think what I’ve had so far this week. I can’t remember much. There was a smoothie here and there, some fruit, a bite of chocolate a friend offered, some frittata, nuts … so it’s not as if I’m starving (or eating unhealthy), but I suspect it’s too little. I haven’t really been paying attention. My attention is consumed by all the other stuff in my life right now.

I’m afraid as the Hot 100 Challenge goes, especially where physical activity is concerned, this week is not a good one, folks. It’s definitely a letdown after last week’s super, super performance. But this week I need to help my folks, I need to fight fires at the office, and I need to sort out my head.

I’m still here. And I haven’t fallen down the snack hole, at least. I’ll just keep trying until I snap back to a regular schedule. And then, boy oh boy, I’ll be swinging from the branches again!

If you can, toss some light and prayers into the jungle…

Yesterday I attended my first Toastmasters meeting, as a guest.

I had been pondering this step after having been exposed to Toastmasters through a friend a while ago, and then South Beach Steve jumped in, and well, I got even more intrigued. =)

What I learned is that Toastmasters is about a LOT more than simply a bunch of folk standing up and toasting people. You learn to face your fear and address a group of people in the way you would ultimately like to: with confidence, so that the focus is on the message you want to convey instead of on your nerves. And it is this that makes for greater self-esteem, greater confidence, and greater leadership.

Public speaking is something which makes me lose virtually all control of my senses and my composure, but facing that fear, deliberately placing myself in a position to lose control, this is exactly what is needed to learn to GAIN that control.

I’m an intensely introverted person, so walking up to all these strange people in the first place was something that already took courage. They made me feel so welcome, a really, really grand group of folk.

When the table topics were passed along – this is for giving an IMPROMPTU speech – they asked if I would like to participate as guest. Gulp! First I wanted to run away, shouting over my shoulder “No way!” But then I thought, “Heck, Pippa, you’ve driven all the way over here, why not grab the opportunity and be a daredevil?” So I accepted the invitation.

So when it was my turn, I stood up in front of all those people, and I turned blind and deaf with stress, my hands trembling, my brain spinning … but I spoke!

It felt so good to face my fear.

And I must have made some sort of sense, because imagine my surprise when the Award for Best Impromptu Speech was given to me. Hey, wow, really?! I felt on top of the world.

Which brings me to the first for this little Porch, another thing I’ve been pondering for many weeks now. I’m well aware that I’ve never really shown my face here. I’ve never seen the need. But it did occur to me that I really love seeing your faces on all the lovely blogs I stop by. And perhaps you’d like to know that Pippa really exists. So I’ve decided it’s time. It might not happen often (or ever again!) but here it is: Me, grinning my head off as I received the floating trophy from the President of the club.

(And yes, you knew it, didn’t you? I’m not kidding, I really am blonde!)

Since this learning curve is all about conquering fears and extending those boundaries, what the heck, I’ll just ignore the quaking in my knees at taking this first step. =)

I’ve spent the weekend at my parents’ so I had to use their scale for weighing in. Pretty sure it is close enough to the Wii’s calibration. It might very well be that I have to use their scale for the next couple of weeks, because would you believe it, our television set has flatlined, which renders communication with the Wii non-existent until the TV is fixed or replaced. Researching the net about the possibility of connecting the Wii to my laptop has so far only delivered incomprehensible techno-speak.

So, down to the nitty gritty!

The week was a super healthy week for exercise and eating both! Though I did get the packet of crisps I allowed myself, it wasn’t as good as I had envisioned it, and the rest of the week, including the weekend, consisted of healthy stuff only. Even when we met at my brother’s on Saturday – where there are always bowls of crisps – I didn’t really find myself interested in the snacks. Instead I made a mean salad of lettuce, cucumber, apple, feta and strawberries. YUM!

I am happy to say that last weekend’s heart to heart talk showed results this morning.

There is 800g / 1.7lbs less of me than last week, as today I weighed in at 63.9kg /140.5lbs. That’s a total loss of 2.5kg / 5.5lbs since I started this journey on 1 September, which really is not that much (yet), but I am beginning to see it in my body and the way my clothes are fitting better.

I’m pleased. =)

I’m keeping all goals the same for the coming week. Let’s be HOT and finish STRONG!

Art by Normal Rockwell, courtesy of Art.com

When I learned about the One Sentence Journal I was tickled pink. Imagine writing just one sentence every day, every year, for as many years as it takes to fill the journal! Just one sentence!

It takes the pressure off you to fit lengthy journal entries into a busy day (or reading them later). It provides a wonderful receptacle for all the noteworthy things which we would like to remember but so often forget. Whether you want to focus your journal on gratitude or progress towards goals, or simply as a marker of the time you spend with your family and all the things which bind you together, the freedom and discipline of writing down just that one sentence at the end of each day will in the end reward you with a treasure beyond all words.

I am starting such a journal. And I’m totally blissed out by the realization that I needn’t wait for January 1st to start this journey, I can start today! Even more, the thought strikes me that a visual journal is possible in the very same way. Though sketching every day is way above my abilities right now, I’m pondering the possibility of taking a picture every day for such a journal … something which would later testify to the road I have walked, the way I have come.

Looking back over it years from now, what will I see?

Progress and growth, I hope. Gratitude and wisdom. Succinct day-by-day testimony to the fact that yes, one, two, three years later I have become more of me.

n. A person attracted to that which is foreign, especially to foreign peoples, manners, or cultures.

Image by Carl Mydans, courtesy of Art.com

Foreign countries and languages and customs intrigue me. Having been exposed to cultures different from mine at an early age, there is a very real part of me which delights in learning about other countries and other peoples. It is this curiosity which makes me read the blogs of folk who live elsewhere in the world. It is this curiosity which makes me breathe in biographies of people who spent time in other countries.

As much as I appreciate this country I was born into, I’m always wondering about the lives of people in other countries. Though we’re all human, the little things which differ between us all combine to finally create huge cultural differences. And this applies even to those of us able to make ourselves understandable in English.

I remember visiting the USA for 2 weeks, how different the bread was, how the very air smelled of peanuts in Florida, how strange it was to the security guard that we South Africans would open a window. I remember the way German public transport simply assumes that you’d pay for your ride, trusting to a basic sense of honour that won’t work in this country, and how the doors of many homes are marked with C*M*B as a blessing for each year. I remember the friendliness of the folk who welcomed us exhausted travellers in a newly opened B&B in Switzerland and how I fell asleep to the call of the cuckoo in the forest behind us, even though it was still light outside very late. I remember the beauty and age of Dublin, and how the accent there so clearly shows where American English originated.

And I want more of that!

I want to see kangaroos next to the road in Australia, I want to experience how our brothers and sisters live there. I want to sleep in a cottage in Greece, and look down on the clear blue ocean. I want to experience a storm in Scotland, hear the accent in Yorkshire, taste the food in Provence, touch the manta rays in the Cayman Islands, and walk the dusty roads in Tuscany.

And I realize, waiting for it isn’t enough. If I want it this much, I’m going to make it happen!

Most of the time when I turn on the tap, it is simply part of the action required to do the dishes or brush my teeth or shower. But every once in a while, when I am really centered in the moment, I look at the water spilling out in all its bright freshness, and I am overwhelmed by the WOWness of it all. Just imagine, one turn, and there it is: fresh, clear water, hot or cold, all for me.

It is my favourite drink.

It is my favourite way to relax, whether I’m swimming or staring out over the ocean, listening to a yellow mountain brook burbling to itself … water remains one of those wonders which fills me with peace, which reminds me what it is all about.

Yesterday I looked at the rain drops scattered over the leaves of the prunus on the corner, each one a perfect world all in itself. I saw the light refracted in each drop, transforming them into crystals more fleeting and more precious than any jewel on Earth.

And I was, in one breath, energized by the wonder and quitened by the beauty.

though the wind was tossing about the leaves most delightfully!

Art by Meesha Marie, courtesy of Art.com

Living a victorious life is, to me, a lot like living a 12-step life: You take it day by day. And while you build each victory on all the victories behind you, the only day that really matters is today. Even more importantly: this very moment.

Yes, you might have screwed up yesterday. Yes, you might have taken a tumble off your goal cart this morning. It doesn’t matter. What matters is this very moment: how will you continue?

And yes, you might have climbed Mount Kilimanjaro last month. You might have accomplished a life-long dream. That is great, and something I hope you celebrated with passion. But what matters is not what you’ve scratched out on your daisy list, what matters is what you are going to do today, with this moment!

What freedom and what responsibility is that!

We can’t rest on our laurels, and we can’t wallow in our failures. We are greater beings than that! We are meant to live victorious lives, and that means making something beautiful of this very moment.

What are you doing right now to make it beautiful and victorious?

***

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. ~ Ivy Baker Priest